Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
there is puke in my bra ... again
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
