Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
