Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
