you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
