Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
