They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
