Cold hands, warm shart.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
