let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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