Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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