im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
