no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
