dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
