I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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