this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
