doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
