I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
