I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
