my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
