I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
