There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
