oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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