Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
