I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
