That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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