he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
