and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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