My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize