He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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