She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dear god my vagina.
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