I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
