i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
