you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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