You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
