In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
