just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
