my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
