my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
