my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
