pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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