Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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