kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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