Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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