if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
