They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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