Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
