The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
