Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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