yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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