found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you traded sex for a burrito?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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