He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
