No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
