Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
handjob tips. give me some.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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