You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
