Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
