if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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