why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize