I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
