You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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