think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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